FTM Homebirth Story: The Birth of Violet

The birth of Violet - written by Kimberly
Since 38 weeks I was doing daily relaxations, walks, stretching and fit ball exercises ensuring bubs was in a good position for whenever labour started. On Thursday morning I woke up and had a large bloody mucousy show- I was so excited! My midwife brain then thought I may go into labour in the next couple of days- I had been having braxton hicks for a couple of weeks and now they were getting a bit more uncomfortable, but still very mild and easy to ignore. On Friday morning Harlow and I went to the beach and had a beautiful walk and swim- I felt so peaceful and went home completely relaxed. That same day I had a labour prep appointment with a local Chinese medicine practitioner who is also a naturopath and massage therapist who performed acupressure, acupuncture, massage, cupping and moxibustion. I booked the apt as a treat for myself and in no means was trying to get myself into labour- I loved my pregnancy and even at the end with the usual discomforts I was happy to wait until whenever bubba was ready. Being our first I was very prepared to go well past my due date so when I started niggling that afternoon with discomfort I was excited. I went to bed for a rest and when I woke everything had fizzled- some disappointment but only because I’m super impatient and was so excited to meet our baby- my midwife self knew this was normal and could go on for days… Saturday I kept having some mucousy show and irregular niggles but nothing significant. Sunday morning we went out for breakfast in Freo and in the car on the way I started having longer quite uncomfortable tightenings. Sunday arvo I nested and got everything ready- convinced I would have a baby the next day with the full moon I kept myself distracted and Jay and I spent quality time together. The house was oozing with clary sage and affirmation cards and fairy lights. That night I niggled but was able to sleep fairly well.

Monday morning came and Jay didn’t go to work- I believe I started niggling all weekend because I felt so safe and calm with him around so I really wanted him to stay with me. I spent the day getting more and more uncomfortable with the tightening cramping sensations and was doing all of the distraction techniques. I finished my puzzle and watched two movies all whilst on my fit ball and using my TENS machine. During the second movie I was having to use my Calmbirth breathing techniques and was getting very emotional- things were getting very real! All this time I was in contact with my midwife Liza letting her know my progress. At 8pm I called Liza and asked her to come- I was contracting every 5 mins regularly and they were strong lasting a minute. I think I knew I wasn’t in active labour but due to the previous long days of niggling I wanted Liza’s reassurance and to check on bubs. Liza arrived and I was really working hard through the contractions- the TENS boost button was my best friend and I was leaning heavily on Jay too. Liza and Jay set up the birth pool and I got in- it felt amazing however it fizzled my contractions- they spaced out and lost their intensity. At this point it was hours later in the early hours of the morning and I asked Liza for a vaginal examination as I knew I probably still wasn’t in active labour but for my mental state of mind- needed to know how much change had been done to my cervix so I could prepare myself to be in labour for longer… I was 3-4cm dilated, 1/2 cm long at -1 station (good descent in my pelvis) with a soft but posterior cervix and slightly acynclitic head. Progress! But not active labour.

At this point I was absolutely exhausted and Liza suggested I go to bed with the TENS and rest in between contractions. Assuring me I would wake up in a few hours in full blown labour while she left and went home for some rest too. We agreed and I did actually get some rest in between the contractions- still clinging to my TENS- for 3 hours. The next day I was 39+3 and Liza came back at 6am as agreed to check on us all- no change to my contractions. I was so disappointed, however determined to get things going. Liza offered me more rest, or let’s do all of the things to speed up labour- I went for option 2! The clary sage diffuser was flowing and I had a shot of my birth boost tincture from Blissful Herbs. We did 3 side lying hip releases during contractions which were excruciating! We then put on some fun upbeat music and I did stair stepping for some time with Jay. Next I sat on the dilation station (the toilet) for my pelvis to be nice and open and hand expressed colostrum for the nipple stimulation oxytocin buzz! All of this was within an hour and wholey moley did it work! I believe it was a combination of all these techniques but now I was in red hot roaring labour. Nothing prepares you for the intensity of labour contractions. I only lasted sitting on the toilet for about 5 contractions because they were SO intense in that position. By now the pool was at temp again and I got in- instant relief! And nothing fizzled I rolled around in the water for ages, upbeat music still playing. Icy face washers all over my face and neck felt amazing and sucks on a zooper dooper for sugar hits. Some more bloody show was noticeable in the water so we knew my cervix was doing what it needed to be doing! After an hour or 2 (sense of time is impossible in labour) Liza suggested I have a change of scenery and I got out of the pool, did a wee- again my contractions felt a million times more intense on the toilet! I hated it and roared through them- I never thought I would be loud in labour but boy and I glad we live on 5 acres and even so Jay said the neighbours could probably still hear me I moved to the shower and some fear started to creep in with the intensity of the contractions coming. I was battling hard and clinging to Jay who had constant words of encouragement for me. Eventually I had to get back in the water for the relief. In between the contractions I was resting and had the cold face washers covering my face.

Through the contractions I was doing deep vocalisations and using horses breath- focusing on the sounds I was making really worked as a distraction technique for me. Then transition hit and it was next level. Contractions ontop of one another and not subsiding- I was yelling “no” on repeat and was asking Jay for help… classic signs of transition in hindsight sight but I didn’t recognise it for what it was in the moment. Luckily it was quick and then my cervix was all the way open! The very next contraction I was involuntarily pushing and birthed a huge bulge of intact membranes! I had a literal fluid filled balloon just floating around in between my legs for the best part of an hour until I eventually got sick of waiting for them to burst and I reached down and ripped them open with my hands! It took my a little while to get the hang of pushing but it was SUCH a relief from the discomfort of the contractions. No pain, just intense pressure and it felt so good to push into that feeling and feel her coming down with my effort. I pushed for an hour on my side and on my hand and knees. I had my hand on her head as she was slowly crowning- her head was born and I waited 3 minutes for my next urge when her shoulders came out and I reached down into the water and pulled her up onto my chest she was born at 12:18. It was so gentle and everything I had dreamed of. She opened her eyes and looked at me and eventually did a big cry, she pinked up and after the initial shock and awe of what we had just achieved dimmed- we looked down and found out she was a little girl, we have a daughter, Violet Alma Wybrow Vi stayed in my arms for hours. We breastfed in the pool waiting for my placenta and after an hour I got really intense contractions again, even worse than labour but my placenta wasn’t coming, even after getting out of the pool and using gravity to try and push it out. I ended up having the oxytocin injection and soon enough I birthed my placenta- it was nearly 900g! Very large placenta no wonder it was so hard to get out I had a pretty nasty tear from her shoulders so I got set up on my bed and the midwives sutured me up while Jay had skin to skin with Vi. After a fast 5 and a half hour labour and birth I showered, got into bed, ordered Uber eats and snuggled our girl all afternoon and evening. It was the birth experience we had dreamed of, and that we had prepared for. I feel so overjoyed with Violets birth and it will forever be the most magical and greatest experience of my life.  

A note from Nikola;

You too can have an empowering experience for your first birth! Get in touch with me if you have any questions about homebirth or how we can work together. Let’s chat!

If you would like to share your homebirth story please get in contact with me nikola@illuminatewithnikola.com

Together we can change our birthing culture and make transformational birth normal again.